I think I caught rabies. I live in the woods just outside of Hazard, and a monkey jumped out of a tree and bit me on the neck. Or did I bite him? It's hard to remember, because I'd just taken my daily heroin injection. Anyways, what do you know about typhus? Since I have no running water in the trailor, I drink out of a creek just downstream from a large pig farm. I like hot dogs. They're like little sausages, only with pork pudding inside. I dress them up with sauerkraut and onions and have a fart fest. With beer. Lots and lots of beer. I wonder how Paris Hilton is doing. While farting.
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